THE MAN WHO SOLD THE WORLD

WHY WERE SOME WOMEN CONSIDERED WITCHES?

17 Signs That You'd Qualify as a Witch in 1692

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Leah Beckmann

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Discover whether you are guilty of maleficium and/or would have been accused of practicing witchcraft according to the laws and evidence used during the 1692 Salem Witch Trials.

1. YOU ARE FEMALE

Are you a woman of any kind? If so, you are probably one of the devil’s many hellbrides. Since the medieval period, “an aspect of the female has been associated with the witch.” For thousands of years, people have believed women to be more susceptible to sins than men, and sinning is a clear indication of devil worship. In Salem, 13 women and five men were convicted of practicing witchcraft, though historically the numbers dramatically favor accused women over men.

2. YOU ARE POOR/CANNOT SUPPORT YOURSELF FINANCIALLY

The poor, homeless, and those forced to rely on the community for support were among the most vulnerable and often accused of witchcraft. Sarah Good, hanged in 1692, was extremely disliked and distrusted by neighbors because she wandered from house to house begging for food.

3. YOU ARE RICH/FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT

If you’re a grown woman living this life without any additional support, you probably also have a jar of eye of newt in your pantry. Any indication that a woman could live without the help or supervision of a man raised alarm. She would likely have been isolated from the community—until, of course, she was arrested and put on trial. Between 1620 and 1725, women without brothers or sons to share their inheritance comprised 89 percent of the women executed for witchcraft in New England.

4. YOU HAVE ONE OR MORE FEMALE FRIENDS

A note to all popular teens and the cast of Sex and the City: A group of women congregating without a male chaperone was deemed a “coven meeting to worship the Devil.” Ladies be communing with flirty cosmos and the devil.

5. YOU HAVE HAD AN ARGUMENT WITH ONE OR MORE OF YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS

Infamous witchfinders like Matthew Hopkins and John Searne inspired such terror in the community that it didn’t take long for women to accuse other women of witchcraft as a way of deflecting their own indictments. According to author Elizabeth Reis, “women were more likely than men to be convinced of this complicity with the devil, and given such convictions about themselves, they could more easily imagine that other women were equally damned.”

Take the case of Rachel Clinton: “Women of worth and quality accused [her] of hunching them with her elbow” when she walked by them at church. Rachel, herself a former woman of “worth and quality,” had a mentally disturbed mother and a late-in-life marriage that caused her to slip to the bottom rung of the class system. Add to that some finger-wagging biddies screaming about an elbow jab and, double double toil and trouble, Rebecca was convicted of witchcraft.

6. YOU HAVE HAD AN ARGUMENT OR DISAGREEMENT WITH SOMEONE

The important thing to remember is that anyone could accuse anyone. And they did. If you found yourself accused of practicing witchcraft of any kind by any kind of person, you might as well have been seen flying naked over the moon on a broomstick made out of a cursed lover’s ears.

7. YOU ARE VERY OLD

Older women, both married and unmarried, were extremely susceptible to accusations. Rebecca Nurse was a 70-year-old invalid when she was accused by disputing neighbors. At 71, she became the oldest woman tried, convicted, and put to death for being a witch.

8. YOU ARE VERY YOUNG

Dorothy Goode was only 4 years old when she confessed to being a witch (simultaneously implicating her mother, Sarah, who was hanged in 1692). Dorothy was imprisoned for nine months before her release. The experience left her permanently insane.

9. YOU ARE A MIDWIFE

Put simply by writer Joel Southern, a midwife’s “age, social and marital status, autonomy, pagan influences, secret knowledge of herbs and most importantly, the vilification of her profession as unclean and demeaning served to demonize the midwife. In short, the midwife represented everything the Church feared.”

10. YOU ARE MARRIED WITH TOO MANY CHILDREN

You have an unnaturally fertile womb that can only be the result of a dark magic. Add to that a young couple nearby having a difficult time conceiving, and you are almost certainly stealing would-be babies from them. Because you are a witch.

11. YOU ARE MARRIED WITH TOO FEW (OR NO) CHILDREN

The devil cursed your unholy womb with infertility. Plus, if your neighbors and their six children are suffering in any way, they almost certainly believe the jealous crone living next to them has hexed their home.

12. YOU HAVE EXHIBITED “STUBBORN,” “STRANGE,” OR “FORWARD BEHAVIOR"

Let loose any kind of sass or backtalk and ye be a witch, probably. Again, in the trial of Rachel Clinton, her accusers solidified the case against her with the following: “Did she not show the character of an embittered, meddlesome, demanding woman—perhaps in short, the character of a witch? Did she not scold, rail, threaten and fight?”

13. YOU HAVE A MOLE, BIRTHMARK, OR THIRD NIPPLE

Any of these found on the body could be interpreted as the Devil’s mark. This is also where the witch’s familiar—usually a dog, cat, or snake—would attach itself to her to drink her blood. The accused were completely rid of their body hair until some kind of marking was found. Now imagine a tiny puppy guzzling from Marilyn Monroe’s beauty mark.

14. BUTTER OR MILK HAS SPOILED IN YOUR FRIDGE

Several testimonials during the Salem Trials mention spoiled dairy products in connection with the accused. Be honest about the condition of your fridge before you continue.

15. YOU HAVE HAD SEX OUT OF WEDLOCK

Throw yourself directly into a blue hellfire if this one applies to you. In 1651, Alice Lake of Dorchester was tried as a witch for having “played the harlot, and being with Child.” Her guilt was so intense that she eventually confessed to convening with the devil “through the commission of her sin.” She was hanged that same year.

16. YOU HAVE ATTEMPTED TO PREDICT THE IDENTITY OF YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND

Ever daydreamed about your soulmate? Written his name in cursive in your notebook? Then, like Tituba, a slave woman living in Salem, your activities could be construed as witchcraft. Tituba encouraged young girls to predict the identities of their future husbands and became the first woman in Salem accused of practicing the craft. And thanks to dreamy succubi like you, she won’t be the last.

17. YOU HAVE BROKEN VIRTUALLY ANY RULE IN THE BIBLE AND THUS ENTERED INTO A PACT WITH THE DEVIL

Here are a handful of rules the Puritans observed. Breaking any could lead to a witchcraft accusation:
-The strict observance of Sabbath, "the training day of military discipline.” This includes no fire, no trading, no traveling, and something called “new showbread In the holy place.” That last one is punishable by death.
-No adultery
-No leading people to other Gods by prophecy or dreams
-No getting raped
-No planting more than one type of seed in a field
-No touching a pig carcass
-No wearing clothing made of more than one kind of cloth or fabric
-No round haircuts
-No braided hair
-And definitely no suffering a witch to live

Did you do any of these things? Then congratulations, you are guilty of practicing witchcraft. You are hellbound, and will likely be hanged, burned, or left to rot in a filthy prison until you die. May the dark shadows cloak you in their wretched embrace. Hail Satan.

All images courtesy of Thinkstock unless otherwise noted.

By the British Council

Superstitions

 

Do you get nervous when a black cat walks in front of you? Do you avoid walking under ladders? If you broke a mirror would you expect to get 7 years' bad luck?

If the answer is 'yes' to any of these questions then you are clearly a superstitious person.

ShowInstructions

Superstitions can be defined as, "irrational beliefs, especially with regard to the unknown" (Collins English Dictionary)

They cause us to act in strange ways, believe in odd things and leave us unable to explain the reasons why.

Many superstitions may seem silly, even stupid to us today, but they continue to influence our behaviour and many people would argue that there are in fact some very good reasons for avoiding black cats and walking around ladders.

Common Superstitions Explained

In most cases, the reasons behind common superstitions can be traced back to medieval or even ancient times. They are quite often even more peculiar than the beliefs they attempt to explain.

Black cats are the source of literally hundreds of unlucky superstitions. It's a sign of bad luck if they walk in front of you. It's unlucky to step on their tails. They even bring bad luck into a house if they sneeze inside!

This unfortunate connection with misfortune dates back to the Middle Ages when they became associated with witches and were thought to harbour evil spirits.

There are very practical reasons for thinking twice before walking under a ladder, but a more mysterious explanation can be traced back to ancient Egypt. The early Egyptians believed that the shape of the Pyramids had a special power. It was considered very bad luck to break the 'power' of this shape and that's exactly what walking under a ladder would do!

In Roman times people had the habit of looking at their reflections in pools of water. Some believed that these reflections were in fact 'glimpses of the soul'. Any disruption to the water, such as a stone being thrown into the pool, would bring bad luck to the person looking in. This superstition lives on with the fear of bad luck from breaking a mirror.

Group Superstitions

Certain groups of people involved with dangerous or unpredictable activities tend to be very superstitious indeed.

Actors: There are lots of Do's and Don'ts to be followed backstage in the theatre.

One of the biggest Don'ts concerns the name of Macbeth, one of Shakespeare's most famous plays. If anyone says the name backstage then the cast will have all sorts of unlucky problems and the show will certainly fail. Also, actors never wish each other, 'good luck' before a performance as it might have the opposite effect. It's safer to tell an actor heading for the stage to, 'break a leg'!

Sailors: Long, dangerous journeys on wild and unpredictable oceans have made sailors very aware of lucky and unlucky signs. Bad luck is caused by stepping on board a ship with your left foot, starting a cruise on Friday and throwing stones into the sea. Good luck will follow a ship if there are dolphins swimming nearby or there is a naked woman on board! Think about the figureheads on old sailing boats with a naked woman at the front, calming the seas.

Athletes: The great Michael Jordan wore his old college shorts underneath his Chicago Bulls uniform for an extra bit of good fortune on the court and Tiger Woods favours wearing the colour red on Sundays for similarly superstitious reasons. Amateur golfers can have a successful day on the course if they start their round with odd numbered clubs and don't use balls with numbers higher than 4! It's also lucky to set out on a rainy day, but definitely not okay to borrow your partners umbrella.

Football players don't let the side down and have numerous eccentricities of their own. West Hams' ex-player Paolo Di Canio always puts his shinpads on his left leg first. Steven Gerrard and the Liverpool players like to touch the, 'This is Anfield' sign in the tunnel on their way to the pitch, but nothing tops Chelsea's ex-player Eidur Gudjohnsen, who goes to the loo just after the warm up, kisses his shirt twice (for two goals) and says a prayer thanking God for his health and the health of his teammates as he runs onto the field!

Global Superstitions

Finally, here are a few curious beliefs from around the world.

If you don't cover your bald head it will start raining - Afghanistan.

If you shave your head on a Saturday, you will be in perpetual debt - Africa.

You'll 'cut off' fortune if you use scissors on New Year's Day - China.

You shouldn't wash your hair the day before an exam - Russia.

If you go to the bathroom in the night with no clothes on, insects will fall on you – Japan.

APRIL FOOL'S DAY

The uncertain origins of a foolish day 

AprilFools'Day (alternatively AprilFool'sDay,sometimes AllFools'Day) is celebrated on 1 April every year. 1 April is not a national holiday, but is widely recognized and celebrated in various countries as a day when people play practical jokes and hoaxes on each other called April fools.

Ancient cultures, including those of the Romans and Hindus, celebrated New Year's Day on or around April 1. It closely follows the vernal equinox (March 20th or March 21st.) In medieval times, much of Europe celebrated March 25, the Feast of Annunciation, as the beginning of the new year.

In 1582, Pope Gregory XIII ordered a new calendar (the Gregorian Calendar) to replace the old Julian Calendar. The new calendar called for New Year's Day to be celebrated Jan. 1. That year, France adopted the reformed calendar and shifted New Year's day to Jan. 1. According to a popular explanation, many people either refused to accept the new date, or did not learn about it, and continued to celebrate New Year's Day on April 1. Other people began to make fun of these traditionalists, sending them on "fool's errands" or trying to trick them into believing something false. Eventually, the practice spread throughout Europe.

From: www.infoplease.com

What of these jokes is the funniest, in your opinion?